Dating beginners guide offers useful advice for blind dating and dating a friend. Dating disasters can happen to anyone. Imagine you are all excited, dressed up in your best clothes. You have positive expectations about how the night will go. Then ‘BOOM’, your date says or does something completely unexpected and ruins your evening.
Dating is thought of by society as two people coming together for an agreeable night out. Nothing wrong with that. So why can a dating disaster occur?
Because a date consists of two people who each have different expectations of the night.
Dating Beginners Guide – Scenario
First let’s look at two people who have already met, but never dated.
Person A has dressed up in their finest clothes and expects a nice quiet meal for two in an expensive restaurant and then a pleasant taxi ride to the theatre to see one of the towns top shows. Afterwards a quiet coffee in a Bistro bar together with an intellectual discussion on the show at the theatre. Before a nice slow taxi ride home with a fond farewell greeting from person B. Perfection for person A
Person B has dressed in jeans and a ‘T’ shirt top and expects a walk to the nearest pub, a few quick drinks, before going to see the latest action film in a crowded cinema. Afterwards a quick dash to the nearest pub for a few more drinks, and standing up is no problem. Lack of privacy is no problem. Then maybe walking to a quiet place or catching a bus…the rest you can guess.
The dating of these two people is open to disaster. Neither person A nor B have their expectations met so both are upset by the mismatch of events. You could say that people should agree where they are going beforehand and what they intend to do. This though rarely happens on first dates.
Person A or B might suggest an itinerary just for an excuse to date but it may not have meant to be a definite activity. For example if someone says to you lets go out tonight you probably would not say yes without first saying, ‘where to’?. It’s just a natural thing to say. The reply comes back ‘just a drink’ meaning maybe coffee to them and alcohol to you.
You could be proactive before your dating experience by making a few suggestions yourself whether or not you are the one asking for a date.
You could suggest a general itinerary for the evening, without appearing over demanding. Such as do you prefer coffee or alcohol to drink, do you prefer the cinema to the theatre.
How about fast food eating out, or a quiet restaurant. Just keeping the initial conversation in an inquisitive format, before you meet, can give you a good idea what expectations your date might have.
Blind dates are rather more tricky. It depends on whether or not you have actually spoken or written to the other person.
If your expectations do not match, you could avoid this date altogether and all that you have lost is a few moments of your time.
Even if you have written to the other person or spoken on the telephone you are both out for some surprises when you meet. You may not be what they expected and they may not be as you expected.
Again both of your expectations are not being met. That does not mean the date is a waste of time since you may have lots in common and eventually come to accept each other the way you both are.
introduction to relationships.
You might like to look at some books I have re-searched for you that will help.