Friendships are part of your life. When you don’t appear to have friends you feel lost and lonely and move away from who you were meant to be; a communicative, fun loving person. Friendships in the social sense that we are all aware of; going out together, eating together, talking, sharing a problem with each other, helping each other are what most people and hence society regard as friendships.
Friendships give us that feeling of connection, you feel connected to another person. This connection, though, can be achieved in other ways, for instance some people can be connected to animals, art, gardening, the home. It is not necessary to actually have a person to connect to. although once again society makes us think so.
Friendships – six basic needs
One of the six basic needs of a human friendships is connection. You might even find that you are more connected to your work than you are other people. That in itself is OK in the way of the Universal Law. So long as a person has some form of connection in their life they will survive. Sometimes though we as humans do feel something is lacking in our lives and that could be a loving relationship.
This need though can get some people into relationship difficulties, because they are blinded by the overall desire to be loved. This blindness tends to take people along the wrong path of a relationship. Trouble is inevitable and another relationship is very hard to establish because most people once hurt, are reluctant to try again.
How to develop a friendship
Developing a long lasting friendship has to be achieved over a period of time. You need to know each other, understand each others needs and wants. Friends cannot just demand certain things from a friendship. Giving, but not be taken advantage of is important.
Friendships are created, not forced. You will have quite a few things in common to start with. That’s what will bring you together initially. Then overtime you will begin to understand each other. The biggest contribution you can make to a friendship is to listen rather than do all the talking.
Sharing a problem can help, even though a solution is not required. Just the act of listening is enough to comfort a good friend.
A good friend should be undemanding and give help unconditionally. If your friend tries to bargain with you for a favour or an item of yours, then they may not be as genuine as you first thought, although there are exceptions of course.
We categorise others
As humans we do tend to try and categorise people, but we are all different. What works for one may not work for another. There are no hard and fast rules when it comes to friendships. You cannot write a list of rules that you and your new friend must follow. I once met a person who could never seem to keep a friendship for long, because this person had too many rules that their ideal friend had to follow. They were looking for the perfect partner. If that is you, then you are heading for many disappointments.
Look at yourself, do you have a lot of rules that any friendships you try and develop have to follow. Do you demand a lot from your friends, time, money etc. Or does your friend demand a lot from you?
If you really do value your friendship with a particular person then try and get a balance between your needs and theirs. Try and understand their needs and in turn suggest they understand your needs. Give your love unconditionally as you too should receive love unconditionally. Never try and control the other person and in turn make sure you are not controlled either. You can also check out my page on an
Introduction on your spiritual relationship.